orange girls

Hi I am a 26 year old dude living in the East End. I haven't had sex in three months. To make matters worse my hippy neighbor gave me some of her herbs and now when I jerk off my loads are enough to fill a 10 gallon jug (not really but you get the idea). So what do I do? My hippy neighbor ain't trying to let me in and I have hard time discerning inviting women and just friendly girls. Is it time for me to go to the (gulp) matrix and just go after one of those orange girls??



thanks,



seriously, gallons





Dear gallons,



Ok, so I am going write this under the assumption that you are not
looking for a relationship (but I will cover that a bit at the end
just to make sure). If you gulp before you say that, then don't do
it. It isn't what you are looking for. I mean, sure, if you just
wanna get laid by just anyone you can get your mits on, then you can
go to the Matrix, or for that matter the Brillo Box, 80's Night, etc.
and pick up some broad who doesn't wanna go home alone that night.
And if you are both mutually into it then right on. By the gulp
though, sounds like you are looking for someone with a little more
pizazz. This could go a few different ways. You got this huge load
going for you, not to mention some killer herbs you could cook a saucy
meal with (for your potential date). Lots (well maybe not lots, just
like you couldn't actually fill a 10 gallon jug) of women out there
love huge loads. You could even eat different foods to make it taste
different. There's always the internet, namely Craigslist, full of
people who just want someone they can meet every Thursday afternoon
and roll around in bed with for an hour and a half in between work and
their grad school night class. Market that shit! Or if not
Craigslist, if you want something just slightly more intimate, ask
around, single friends of friends. Just don't be a creep because that
will ruin your chances. There are kinky girls out there. Ask your
neighbor if she knows anyone. If she has the kinda stuff that can do
that to your body, she probably knows some open minded people. Or at
least wouldn't be too taken aback by the question.



So on the off chance that you are interested in a date that leads to
more than just a romp, maybe try (for a quick but risky solution)
heading to some place like the BBT for dollar beer night where girls
aren't totally wasted but are friendly and talkative and surrounded by
friends, possibly even mutual friends if you live in the area, or
perhaps Tazza d'Oro where you can read a good book and people are in
good enough caffeinated spirits that if it's an interesting looking
title then someone might talk to you about it (but actually read the
interesting book, don't pose out, because you'll have to talk about
it, dig?). Or take up a class in something you've wanted to learn for
a while, or volunteer at an organization you support. It will take up
some time you currently spend rubbing one out and thinking about
rubbing one out, and you might even meet someone with a similar
interest or passion.



As far as knowing the difference between inviting women and friendly
girls, it's a hard call. You'd have to pay attention to body language
more than just a smile. At some point, if the inviting woman is a
little shy or not very good getting the invitation out there, you may
have to subtly ask if she would be interested in hanging out later, or
put your hand on her knee and see if she reacts positively or
negatively. That's a hard thing to give advice on, really, the
generality of finding out if a woman is into you. If you'd like, you
can write back if there is a particular situation in mind that you are
confused about. In the meantime, good luck in your pursuits!



-CM